Wedding toasts · tributes · eulogies · retirements

A speech that sounds like you,
written from your own stories

Tell ToastCraft who you're speaking for, how you know them, and three to six real memories. In about two minutes you'll have a speech worth standing up for — plus cue cards in big type and a delivery guide that shows you where to pause.

From $19 · Free rewrite with your notes included · Best man, maid of honor, parents, vows, retirement, birthday, graduation, eulogy

No generic jokes

Nothing about the open bar, the ball and chain, or "for those who don't know me." Every line comes from a memory you gave us. If you didn't say it, we don't make it up.

Built to be said out loud

Short sentences. Natural rhythm. A real opening, stories that build, and a clean landing. You get a delivery guide with pause marks and a list of what to cut if you're running long.

Rewrites with your notes

Read it, then tell us: "shorter middle," "less sappy," "she calls him Bear." You get a new draft that keeps what worked. Every order includes at least one rewrite.

How it works

Three steps, and the hard part is done tonight

You bring the memories. ToastCraft brings the structure, the pacing and the words.

1

Answer a few prompts

Speech type, your name and relationship, the honoree, length, and a tone slider from heartfelt to funny. Then three to six memories, with prompts to jog you: how you met, a moment that shows who they are, an inside joke the room will get.

2

Pay and wait about two minutes

$19 for a speech with one rewrite, $29 with two, or $49 for up to four speeches for the same wedding. Secure checkout through Stripe. Your speech is written while you watch.

3

Read it out loud, then make it yours

Three views: the full speech, big-type cue cards, and a delivery guide. Send notes for a rewrite if you want changes. Print it, download it, or open the emailed link on the day.

Sample

A best man speech, written from six memories

Standard length, tone set two-thirds toward funny, "keep it clean" on. The speaker gave us: the pudding cup, the late-night phone call, the cardamom, the hearing-aid charger, the keys in the car, and "he remembers everything about her family."

Best man speech — Mike for Danny & Priya441 words · about 4 minutes

Good evening, everyone. I'm Mike, and I've been Danny's best friend since the third grade, when he traded me his entire lunch for a single pudding cup. That was my first clue that Danny is a man who knows exactly what he wants and does not much care what it costs him. Twenty-two years later he is standing here married to Priya, so I'd say the strategy holds up.

I want to tell you about the night Danny met Priya, because he got it wrong. He called me at 11:40 on a Tuesday and said, "I met someone. She's nice. Probably nothing." Now, Danny has never once in his life called me about something that was probably nothing. He does not call me about the weather. He does not call me on my birthday. He called me at 11:40 on a Tuesday to tell me about a girl who was "probably nothing."

Three weeks later, he had learned to cook. Not the way guys usually say they learned to cook, where they own a spatula. Actually learned. He called me from a grocery store to ask what cardamom looked like. I didn't know either. So there we were, two grown men standing in two different stores, confused, because Priya had mentioned one time that she liked a dish her grandmother used to make.

That's the thing about Danny. He is not a big-speech guy, which is why I'm up here and he isn't. He's not going to stand in front of you and tell you how he feels. He's going to figure out what you need and quietly go do it, and then act surprised when you notice. He drove four hours through a snowstorm to bring my dad a charger for his hearing aid. He has never mentioned it. I'm mentioning it.

Priya, I have watched him with a lot of people over twenty-two years, and I have never seen him like this. You took a man who once lost his keys inside his own car and turned him into someone who remembers your mom's birthday, your sister's flight number, and the name of the coworker you don't like. You didn't change him. You just gave him something worth paying attention to.

And Danny. You have always been the guy who would give up the whole lunch for the one thing that mattered. I am so glad you found it.

So if everyone could please stand and raise a glass. To Danny and Priya: may you always know what you want, may you always be willing to pay for it, and may you never, ever run out of cardamom. Cheers.

Every order also includes this speech as cue cards (short lines, big type) and a delivery guide with pause marks and cuts.

What we write

Every speech you might have to give

Each type has its own prompts, structure and ending. Vows end on promises, not a toast. Eulogies open with the person, never a joke.

Every order includes

  • The full speech, written at the length you chose
  • Cue-card version: short lines, big type, one beat per line
  • Note-card version: keyword reminders that fit an index card
  • Delivery guide: pause marks, where to look, what to cut if long
  • At least one rewrite using your notes
  • Printable PDF and plain-text download
  • Permanent private link plus email delivery
  • "Keep it clean" toggle honored absolutely
Pricing

One payment. No account, no subscription.

A freelance speechwriter charges $150 to $600 and takes a week. A template leaves you with blanks and a joke everyone has heard. ToastCraft is written for you, tonight, for less than the tie.

Single Speech

$19
one speech, one-time
  • Any speech type
  • Full speech + cue cards + delivery guide
  • 1 rewrite with your notes
  • PDF, text download, email delivery
Write one speech

Wedding Party Pack

$49
up to 4 speeches, same wedding
  • Best man, maid of honor, parents — any four
  • Each with its own memories, tone and length
  • 1 rewrite per speech
  • Speeches that don't repeat each other's stories
Get the party pack

14-day money-back guarantee if the speech is unusable. Secure checkout by Stripe.

Guide

How to write a wedding toast people remember (and why most fall flat)

Ask anyone who has sat through a hundred wedding receptions and they'll tell you the same thing: the speeches that work are never the funniest or the most polished. They're the most specific. The best man who tells one true story about a phone call at 11:40 on a Tuesday beats the best man with eight jokes he found online, every time. That is the whole idea behind ToastCraft, and it's also the best advice we can give you whether you buy a speech from us or write it yourself.

Start with memories, not with an opening line

Most people open a blank document and try to write the first sentence. That's backwards. Start by listing five or six real moments: how you met, a time they showed up for you, a habit everyone in the room knows about, the first time you saw them with their partner and noticed something had changed. You don't need all of them. You need two or three that, put next to each other, say something true about who this person is. The opening line writes itself once you know which story comes first.

Show the quality; don't announce it

"He's the most generous person I know" is a sentence every guest has heard before and none of them will remember. "He drove four hours through a snowstorm to bring my dad a hearing-aid charger, and he has never mentioned it" is the same claim, but now the room can see it. Whenever you catch yourself writing an adjective — kind, loyal, funny, thoughtful — ask what he or she actually did that made you think so, and write that instead.

Get the length right

A best man or maid of honor speech should run three to five minutes: roughly 450 to 650 words spoken at a natural pace. Parents of the bride or groom can go a little shorter. Anything past six minutes starts losing the room no matter how good it is. Retirement speeches and eulogies have more latitude, but the same principle holds: say the true thing, then stop. Our delivery guide names the paragraphs to cut first if you find yourself running over.

Balance the funny with the sincere

The classic shape is laughs early, sincerity late. Open with something light and specific, build through one or two stories, then turn — usually with a direct address to the honoree — and land on something you genuinely mean. If you're not naturally funny, don't force it: one honest, well-placed light moment is worth more than a string of jokes, and the room will feel the difference. Our tone slider lets you set that balance before we write a word.

Rehearse out loud, and use cue cards

Read the speech aloud at least three times. You will find sentences that look fine on the page and trip you up when spoken — fix them. Then don't bring the full page to the microphone. Bring cue cards: short lines, large type, one beat per line, so you can glance down mid-sentence and find your place without reading. Every ToastCraft order includes that version, along with pause marks showing where to let a laugh land and where to slow down.

A word about eulogies

If you're here because you have to speak at a memorial, we're sorry, and we've tried to make this part gentle. The eulogy form asks about the person rather than for jokes, lets you choose between a celebratory and a reflective tone, and asks whether faith should be part of it. What you get is a solid draft to hold on to at a moment when the blank page is the last thing you need. Change anything. Read it once alone before you read it to anyone else.

FAQ

Questions people ask before ordering

Will it actually sound like me, or like a robot?

It sounds like your stories, told well. The speech is built entirely from the memories, names and details you type in — we don't invent anecdotes, and we explicitly instruct the writer never to pad with generic wedding jokes. The more specific your answers (a real quote, a real place, a real habit), the more it reads like you on your best day. Then read it out loud and change any phrase you would never say. That's what the free rewrite is for.

How long does it take?

Usually under two minutes per speech after payment. The page shows a short 'writing…' state and then your speech, cue cards and delivery notes appear. We also email you a permanent link, so you can close the tab.

What is a rewrite, and how does it work?

After you read the first draft, you can send notes — 'make the middle story shorter', 'less sappy', 'add that she calls him Bear', 'take out the part about the car' — and the writer produces a new version using your original answers, your notes, and the previous draft. The Single Speech includes one rewrite, the $29 option includes two, and the Wedding Party Pack includes one per speech. Every previous draft stays on your page.

Is my speech private?

Yes. Your answers and your speech are stored only so you can retrieve them from your link, and they are never used to train AI models or shown to anyone else. Your order page has an unguessable link; don't share it and nobody else will see it. You can ask us to delete an order at any time.

Can I write a eulogy with this?

Yes, and many people do. The eulogy form is a little different: the tone control runs from celebratory to reflective instead of heartfelt to funny, there's a faith/secular setting, and the writer is told to open with the person rather than a joke. It's meant to give you something solid to hold at a moment when writing feels impossible. Take what helps and leave the rest.

What is the Wedding Party Pack?

One order, up to four speeches for the same wedding: for example the best man, the maid of honor, and both parents. Each person gets their own section on the form with their own memories, tone and length, and the couple's names and date are shared. It's the easiest way to make sure the speeches don't all tell the same story.

What if I don't like it?

Use your rewrite with specific notes first — that fixes most things. If a speech is genuinely unusable, email us within 14 days and we'll refund you in full. See the refund policy.

How do I print the cue cards?

On your order page, open the Cue cards tab and click Download PDF. Each card is large type and short lines so you can glance down mid-sentence and find your place. The note-card version fits on a single index card if you'd rather speak mostly from memory.

Do you need the event date?

It's optional. If you give it, the writer can reference the season or how far away the big day is, and it helps the delivery guide with rehearsal timing. If you leave it blank, nothing breaks.

Have your speech written before you go to bed tonight

A few prompts, one payment, and a speech built from your own memories — with cue cards and a delivery guide.

Write my speech